What matters..

Whats it like to Lose
Standing next to a finishing line..
Realizing you took a second longer..

Standing in driving rain
With a drowned rose.
Realizing, who it was meant for
Never took it..

Staring at a Computer screen..
Realizing,
“We regret to inform you that you are not selected….”

Sitting in front of a Code
You worked on for Weeks
Realizing, it won’t work.

Sitting with a mark sheet in your hand..
I tried..
Realizing, something somewhere went wrong.

Staring at Victory
Realizing, it was you Best Friend
Who lost..

Standing next to a dying friend..
Waiting for an ambulance..
Realizing, it will never make it in time.


But …
“Let it not matter to you after you gave it all you had…
Because to the people whom you matter…
It does not matter beyond that…”

Yes,
Love the soul that loves you
And you have won all that you ever lost..

For what matters is who…
Do you pray for..
And
Who prays for you?

How Much do you love your Land..

Today..
Rashid, the old man, was defeated..
I
Stood next to him on the gates of Justice..
Hands folded in Prayer..
Back bent, wrinkled face. Hopeful eyes
He in the dirtiest white.
One of the crowd.
In the scorching Sun
Barefoot..
As Justice came in an air conditioned car…
Sipped a Coffee…
And said that Rashid, the old farmer has no right to his land…
A farmer lost his land
A son
A wife
A father
A mother…………..


Hours later..
On a footpath outside the District Courts..
Sat next to him.
Hands still folded in Prayer..
Back bent, wrinkled face. Tearful eyes.
He in the dirtiest white.
All alone in the crowd.
In the setting Sun..
Barefoot..

Sipping a cup of tea..
“That was all I had..
No son
No wife
No father
No mother…………..”
I tried hard not to cry for a man who had lost his land..
I succeeded then..
But have failed now..
Today..

I can`t ask him..
But I ask myself
“Oh Rashid how much do you love your land?”
As if he heard my heart..
“More than I love God ..”

Right!

There is something inherently good in every human. That’s what I tried explaining to myself as I stood in the Visitors lounge standing next to you.

Tried to look everywhere but not at you. If I did I knew I would lose this steeled resolve that I had carried throughout the day.

The terminal was shabby, poorly lit, cob-webbed enough to look like Spiderman’s stronghold, sleepy policemen at that early hour in the morning cursing the mosquitoes a little less than the passengers…

I saw all that. And I felt you.

I smelt all that, And missed your fragrance.

Saw the misery , And compared mine.

Saw the billboards, And regretted all the presents I never gave.

Saw the books, And in them all the stories I never read to you.

Saw the food stall, And rued all the chocolates we never shared.

It was kiddish

But Oh God can I turn it all back.

Maybe it was my mistake.

There is something inherently good in every human. Right!

So, is there something Good in me..

And if I have ever stood and followed what God wanted me to…Then give me this last chance.

But You did not..

And as the voice uttered those dreaded words “This is the last call…..’

Me: You should be on that plane.
You: So should you..

And then you walked, never to come back..

There is something inherently good in every human.Right!

The Tearful Rain

I Feel all churned up Inside as I sit on a drenched balcony..
Drunken to a stupor..High on the scent that rises from the wet mud..

And down rolls a tear..
Where did that come from..?
Maybe
A deep entrenched sadness in my heart
That I don`t remember..

It was a mute storm then..
Rains ago..
Standing in the rain..
Hoping the passerby saw the rain drop..
And not the tear.

And now..
Rains later..
After the rain..
The Storm within…
A Tear outside.