Its going to be monotonous

Its going to be monotonous..

So if you don’t wish to read whatever I write..Then forget it..

I have been a sadist most of my life.
You may hate me, you have the liberty to..
Or you may like me, you have the option to..
But it really stopped affecting me a long time ago.

I live for you..
And live for myself..
Who carries more importance?
I don`t know and will never wish to know..

Let it be oblivious to me..
Because it tells me
That what I do is not governed by who gets what..
Its governed by what I see to be right..

The moment!

We all have to give up someday, invariably that moment will come. When you are expected to turn around and walk-away from relationships, friendships, break old ties and walk towards newer ones.

But it’s the rare kinds who walk away taking with them no regret in their hearts.They feel they were too attached and now too hurt or the pain that they did not give it enough, with every tear comes out a story, an anecdote, a lonely rain or a sad evening...

The orange sky with wandering clouds mourning the demise of a thing you held dear.

What we never know and will never ever know is the moment when we ought to cajole our hearts, hold our tears, fight back the despair in our eyes as we glance upon our loved one, for the last time..

And then turn away..

Ah, now it does no matter…Let the tears roll down and drench me in my misery..
Let them pierce my presumably rock-hard heart…And drive a dagger through my bosom.

Let Them not see what I feel…

Oh God where is thy strength..

Aaj tak tumhari awaaz se behtar geet nahin tha humare liye..
Bus aaj khamosh raho..
Tum.
Aur hum bhi..

Rumblings of A Madman

Mata ke liye putr ka
Moh amulya hai..

Par Prabhu tum to Jag ke dukh harta ho..

Is puure sansar ka dukh tum main sama sakta hai..

To kya ek Maa ka nahin..?

Tumhari bhi maa hogi aur tum uske putr..
Tum ek Pati bhi ho..
Aur stiri bhi…

Tum Ardhnarishwar ho..

Aur main tumhara putr..

Kya tum main bhi mere prati wohi Moh hai jo meri Maa ko hai..?

Last Night I saw a beggar woman share the food I had given her, with her child..

She never ate a bite, though I could tell from her eyes that she had not eaten for weeks..

And then I stood there stoned in the cold as she cradled her content child to sleep..

Providing him with the most of her body warmth that she could gather
From her chilled bones..
Poverty is no limiter to Love.
A mother’s love is closest to heaven, we can ever get!
And still the source of our greatest Pain in this world.

My first hand at Hindi poetry...:

Tum Ho.

Abhi peeche se ek aahat hui hai
Lagta hai ki Tum ho.

Mudhkar dekhne ki himmat nahin hum main
Us khaali darwaze ki muskurahat main kab se gum tum ho.

Taakte hain veerane main, Lamhon se jhagda hai
Jeet lenge har woh jang, jiski jeet main tum ho.

Hara diya kismat ne to, Sanson se bagawaat kar lenge
Unke har pal chalne ki vajah jo Tum ho.

Clues...

I am back after a long drive and as I sit here I feel I must write…

What ?
I don’t know,
Why?
I don’t care..

I can’t tell you how I feel..
I know I feel something, but what I don’t know…
Its there inside slowly gnawing its way up…
Fighting my spirit, who wants it locked….

But what is it … Do I feel sad, or Happy
Or tired, or depressed, or emotional…
Or hated…..

Wish it was easy to define, easy to say, easy to give it a word..
But it is not…
My heart , My feeling, My spirit and yet I don’t control it..
Let it come O Master..
Let it drown me…
If it is my smile, bless me with it…
If its My tear I shall accept it with the same Joy as I would accept your love..

If I am too hard a stone to realize the pain in it. Give it to me in my Dream..
If I am too foolish to see through it…Give it to me as your love..
So that when it’s gone…I shall miss it with pain in my heart…
If I am emotional enough to drown it in my feelings…
Give it to me as a reality so that I may always accept it.

If I left it out somewhere on the highways when the wind washed my face..
And the sun burned it…
When your dust cloaked me and protected me from the cold..
And when your rain drenched me to purity..
Where ever I left it…
Give it your wings O Master..

Let fly and seek me out. In sleep or when I am awake…
And lay to rest this uneasiness…

The feeling is there..
The intensity confuses me..
All it needs are wings…

Yours ………